My friend looked into her cup of coffee and mumbled into it: “It just gets too tiring sometimes, and there is no way out of that tiredness.”
If we dare to consider that there is a soul, we may speculate that it might be able to do some work. And it might be that there is a little too much work for a bit too long sometimes. I do see it in some people, and I don’t see it in others. Gender and age may not apply here. However, what matters is the level of adversity.
It is easier to say what it is NOT – it is not depression, it is not low mood, it is not physical tiredness. From what I see in people, it most often comes from relationships – existing in taxing relationships where souls exhaust resources rather than living in alignment with who they are.
Those who grew up in difficult families will understand it most likely: if you have been anything but a human being, anybody but a person, and lived anywhere but in psychological safety, then your soul might have overspent some resource that was there for the rest of your life, not only for its beginning.
If you were...
Soul Exhaustion happens when adversity, challenges, and continuous issues are present for too long, and they force us to deplete some deep resources that were supposed to be used for something else. That exhaustion cannot be fixed with a vacation, a new outfit, or a self-help motivation book. Logically, getting over soul exhaustion would require some kind of EXISTENTIAL REST. (I typed it and laughed – what a practical advice that can be!)))
Any psychologist would tell you – “Oh, just distance yourself from those who’ve been draining you, and slowly but surely you will recover.” Not always applicable. Not all of us , and not always, can distance ourselves from difficult relatives or, let’s say, health problems. If you can – lucky you! If you can – walk away from any factor that drains you, and then the healing process can take place. But what if you cannot? What happens to us is that we detach internally, we distance subtly, we exist in the same situation externally, but check out in our heart. We stop caring, stop engaging, and release ourselves from pressure. Can you find a place in your soul where you are present, but not obliged, not caretaking? That is THE PLACE that might be helpful.
This state of Soul Exhaustion cannot be fixed; it rather needs to be metabolized. It has to take its own pace to turn into something else. The life force needs to be rebuilt, and it will take time, but most importantly, the right conditions.
To get the ‘existential rest’ from that soul tiredness we need to arrive at an ‘unoccupied space’ inside us. With enough protection and time, it can turn into something very quiet and very alive. It is not about obligation, not about intensity, not about sacrifice, but a kind of presence that doesn’t ask anything of you.
All souls have the capacity to restore their light simply by the nature of a soul BEING light. It takes time and quiet conditions, protection, and an end to constant effort and the cycle of doing-doing-doing.
For those of you who recognize yourselves in this description of Soul Exhaustion, I wish that you find solace, peace, and calmness. I wish your struggles would lift, that the adversity you face would step away, and that the darkness would fade away. May you find easiness of breath, lightness of walk, space in your mind, and comfort in your heart. May a place of rest deep inside your soul replace the battlefield. May your exhaustion be healed, may your soul be light, may your resources be replenished.
Whatever you had to face that drained your soul, may it have meaning, may it have reasons, may you reap wisdom from it. Every tide, however big or small, will turn. It is just the nature of tides, and this one will turn as well towards your soul’s rest and fulfillment.
If we dare to consider that there is a soul, we may speculate that it might be able to do some work. And it might be that there is a little too much work for a bit too long sometimes. I do see it in some people, and I don’t see it in others. Gender and age may not apply here. However, what matters is the level of adversity.
It is easier to say what it is NOT – it is not depression, it is not low mood, it is not physical tiredness. From what I see in people, it most often comes from relationships – existing in taxing relationships where souls exhaust resources rather than living in alignment with who they are.
Those who grew up in difficult families will understand it most likely: if you have been anything but a human being, anybody but a person, and lived anywhere but in psychological safety, then your soul might have overspent some resource that was there for the rest of your life, not only for its beginning.
If you were...
- The shock absorber for your father
- The therapist and the meaning -giver to your mother
- Protection-giver to your siblings
Soul Exhaustion happens when adversity, challenges, and continuous issues are present for too long, and they force us to deplete some deep resources that were supposed to be used for something else. That exhaustion cannot be fixed with a vacation, a new outfit, or a self-help motivation book. Logically, getting over soul exhaustion would require some kind of EXISTENTIAL REST. (I typed it and laughed – what a practical advice that can be!)))
Any psychologist would tell you – “Oh, just distance yourself from those who’ve been draining you, and slowly but surely you will recover.” Not always applicable. Not all of us , and not always, can distance ourselves from difficult relatives or, let’s say, health problems. If you can – lucky you! If you can – walk away from any factor that drains you, and then the healing process can take place. But what if you cannot? What happens to us is that we detach internally, we distance subtly, we exist in the same situation externally, but check out in our heart. We stop caring, stop engaging, and release ourselves from pressure. Can you find a place in your soul where you are present, but not obliged, not caretaking? That is THE PLACE that might be helpful.
Enough striving. Enough proving. Enough carrying.
This state of Soul Exhaustion cannot be fixed; it rather needs to be metabolized. It has to take its own pace to turn into something else. The life force needs to be rebuilt, and it will take time, but most importantly, the right conditions.
To get the ‘existential rest’ from that soul tiredness we need to arrive at an ‘unoccupied space’ inside us. With enough protection and time, it can turn into something very quiet and very alive. It is not about obligation, not about intensity, not about sacrifice, but a kind of presence that doesn’t ask anything of you.
All souls have the capacity to restore their light simply by the nature of a soul BEING light. It takes time and quiet conditions, protection, and an end to constant effort and the cycle of doing-doing-doing.
For those of you who recognize yourselves in this description of Soul Exhaustion, I wish that you find solace, peace, and calmness. I wish your struggles would lift, that the adversity you face would step away, and that the darkness would fade away. May you find easiness of breath, lightness of walk, space in your mind, and comfort in your heart. May a place of rest deep inside your soul replace the battlefield. May your exhaustion be healed, may your soul be light, may your resources be replenished.
Whatever you had to face that drained your soul, may it have meaning, may it have reasons, may you reap wisdom from it. Every tide, however big or small, will turn. It is just the nature of tides, and this one will turn as well towards your soul’s rest and fulfillment.